I won’t pretend that we have had some perfect relationship this whole time, because nobody does. Everybody struggles especially when you have been together since high school, plus when getting together there was already a child involved. When my husband and I first got together I was a Sophomore and he was a freshman in high school. I had only been back to the same school for little over a month. That wasn’t even the biggest thing going on, at that time in my life I had a 1 month old beautiful baby girl! My life revolved around her, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. My husband wasn’t her dad, but that didn’t stop him loving her all the same. When we got together the first thing I made clear was that my daughter came first. He understood that from the get go. In that given moment I didn’t expect us to make it 11 years down the road with 3 more babies. We are now married, been married for 5 years, we have an 11, 7, 3, and 2 year old. 3 girls and 1 boy. The best part is that even to this day he still treats Nevaeh as one of his own. Unless people know us from high school, or we tell them they do not even know that she is not. So though we have had our ups and downs one thing I can say and will always say is that I will always love my husband for the way he has loved my daughter from day one, and how he hasn’t let that love slip the slightest bit.
It is always easier to call it quits when the going gets hard, but the thing that counts the most is how much effort you put into restoring what is broking to keep things going strong. Its in that very moment when you realize that all you need is the love of one another to keep moving day after day. That the support of each other helps lift the weight of the world off your shoulders. It wont always be 50/50, sometimes it will feel like you are doing more then you can handle, but at the end of the day when you are laying beside your partner in bed the feeling of comfort is all that matters. I was one that was ready to call it quits. I felt like a record player on repeat, and was at my breaking point. Things in my head alone wasn’t good, and because I was tired of repeating myself I just kept everything bottled up so it was making everything ever worse. So when the time came that I snapped it was worse then what it would have been had I sat down and tried to talk to my partner again. In my head though I felt like at that point it was pointless because all the other times hadn’t made a difference so why would it now. A lot of emotions and heartache went down, in order for us to reconnect. Once reconnecting I feel like we have started to work together more as a team to build our family structure back up. We are more connected now then I feel like we have ever been before. We communicate, we talk about our emotions, we don’t bottle things up anymore, and we work as a team when it comes to all the kids. That is still a learning step because we have two different parenting styles, but we are working way better as a team, and to me that is all that matters. We take time for each other. We listen to the others needs and wants. We make sure that each other feels heard and loved. We give each other space when it is needed. He has been more opened to learning about the different love languages and things dealing with that aspect of things. As well as understanding that he needs to open up about stuff that he didn’t think was important. That to me it is very important. It is important to me to know that he is okay and that everything going on in his mind is taken care of as much as mine is. This is a work in progress because its something that he is most definitely not used to having someone who genuinely wants to know about him and how he feels.
This one is long but this just kind of hit me and inspired me when I got my daily affirmation for the day. I made me want to write about our personal experience and how as a team we have worked together to make things better and to make our relationship stronger!
If you have read this whole thing I want to thank you for taking the time to read this, and to let you know that I am here to listen if yall need anything. Even if its just to vent about something that your think is not important, because remember if it is bothering you then it is important! Don’t take away from your needs to make sure that those around you are satisfied. Its not a happy family if everyone isn’t happy.
I hope you guys are having a wonderful weekend, and an amazing Sunday! Here is to a new week!
